Embarking on the Daddy Track
June 18th, 2010By Bruce Shutan
I love to work at home. There’s no one to report to. Fuzzy slippers can be worn. Underwear is optional. And in a city like Los Angeles, where traffic congestion is a form of corporal punishment, there’s no better place I can think of to have a 20-second carpet commute. I’m one of the lucky ones.
After writing about work-life balance in the workplace for 25 years, I realize how invaluable it is to have this freedom knowing all too well how many poor souls must punch the clock with a short-sighted or irascible supervisor watching their every move. But having become a father last year for the very first time has given me a greater appreciation of this critically important issue and deepened the meaning of Father’s Day.
The numbers tell an even more compelling story.
For instance, Brigham Young University researchers who analyzed data from 24,436 IBM employees in 75 countries found that telecommuters can work up to 19 more hours than their office-bound colleagues before feeling that work interferes with their personal life. Not surprisingly, they attributed the higher productivity to better work-life balance, which makes for healthier and happier people.
One aspect of this issue that tends to get lost in all the white noise is where working dads fit into the work-life balance equation. A Wall Street Journal blog noted that American men who take extended leaves of absence from work “often find themselves treated as shirkers or oddballs.” Well, no wonder – given the nation’s puritanical work ethic, which I think has run amuck in an age when smartphones, laptops and GPS devices have erased once-coveted boundaries separating one’s career and personal life. The upshot is that too many U.S. employees never fully recharge their batteries while taking vacation or toiling away during the daily grind.
But there’s no such worry in other parts of the civilized world, namely Europe, where great pains are taken to promote so-called gender equality. According to The New York Times, 85% of Swedish fathers take parental leave, while “laws reserving at least two months of the generously paid, 13-month parental leave exclusively for fathers – a quota that could well double after the September election – have set off profound social change.”
That same account went on to suggest that “when Sweden became the first country to replace maternity leave with parental leave [in 1974], the few men who took it were nicknamed ‘velvet dads.’” While that may be a compliment among Viking men, I can’t imagine it being used as anything but a pejorative reference in most corporate cultures in this country.
Now don’t get me wrong: I’m not suggesting that the U.S. mandate paid leaves of absence (employers have enough trouble managing unpaid absences under the landmark Family and Medical Leave Act). But what I am suggesting is that there’s no reason why Corporate America can’t adopt a more egalitarian and enlightened approach to work-life balance based on common sense as opposed to dollars and cents. Offering working fathers greater flexibility through a combination of telecommuting, flextime, compressed work schedules and job-sharing programs is not only a prudent investment in human capital, it also will pay tremendous dividends for society as a whole at a time when so many fathers are absent from their children’s lives, the divorce rate is far too high and the family unit is in serious trouble. But that will require a cultural change initiated by brave leaders that could take years to bear fruit.
Another lesson to keep in mind is that family should come before work. There was a cute movie in 2009 called “Imagine That” starring Eddie Murphy that really hit a homerun on this point. I watched it with my 10-year-old step-daughter, who periodically reminds me of that theme when she sees that I’m working too hard.
Not being tethered to a desk or factory line frees up working dads to play a more active role in their children’s lives, which includes anything from attending a school play or recital to being present at a graduation ceremony – something I was able to do the other day when our daughter finished 5th grade.
A friend recently asked: “Can you ever imagine what life was like before your son was born?” At first I hesitated and had to give it some thought before shaking my head no. My mother also inquired shortly after his birth: “Did you ever think you could love something so much?” That question was a no-brainer. I count my blessings that I’m able to juggle diaper duty and lunch breaks with our little boy between writing deadlines and cement a bond in the early months of his life that will stay with both of us forever. Dads who desire, and/or are able, to take a more active role in raising their children are heroes in this tattered society and should be treated as such by our captains of industry.